One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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