i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
