When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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