It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
