just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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