how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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