fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He better not be in your backpack
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
