Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
