Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He felt like a one man threesome
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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