I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
