Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
