I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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