id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
