Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
