Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
