they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
