Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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