I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
