Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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