"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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