it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
