I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All the doctor said was why
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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