Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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