physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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