you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
