he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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