this beer tastes like vomit already
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
