After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
