The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize