I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
