I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
