yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
