It's Friday. Sex?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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