these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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