butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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