god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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