its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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