I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize