I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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