Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
