That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
