i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
