the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
