I hate your face
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
