i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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