Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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