awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize