Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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