you win again, gameday.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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