Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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