this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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