remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
