me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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