I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
