I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
