I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
