you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
