is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize