i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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