Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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