can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
