He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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