am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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