I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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