she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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