so explain again why im purple
no
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
