Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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