Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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