She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
