just tell him i said nine months
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
