I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
